Hiphopopotamus and the Rhymnocerous
by Goddess Bless
Summary: Zach and Hodgins get caught in an alley way by some thugs and need to think on their feet to get out with their wallets and their lives.


Ya. So. This is horrible and not serious or anything. I just feel like these two would be the ones who would rap this. I don't know.

* * *

"You better watch out, you don't know whom you're dealing with." Zach held his hands up in barely closed fists.

"Whom? Whom?" The two thugs gave each other a hit and laughed.

"And just _whom_ are we dealing with?"

"I'm Doctor-" Hodgins pulled Zach aside and gave him a slack whack on the chest.

"Follow my lead Zack."

"What?"

"Follow. My. Lead." Zach looked like he was going to argue but refrained. If Hodgins thought he knew how to get out of this than so be it, he did have the superior verbal skills.

"What exactly am I following?"

"Rhino and Hippopotamus on three." Zach once again looked like he was going to argue and then stopped sighing.

"Just don't get us killed or in any way harmed. I like this shirt."

They turned back to the two thugs that had cornered them in an alley way on their way home.

"I'm the mother flippin' Rhymenocerous

My beats are fly and the birds are on my back

And I'm horny"

The two thugs just stared at them not knowing what to say

Hodgins backed Zach up, "I'm horny"

"If you choose to proceed you will indeed concede

Cos I hit you with my flow

The Wild Rhino Stampede.

I'm not just wild, I'm trained,

Domesticated

I was raised by a rapper and rhino that dated

And subsequently procreated

That's how it goes

Here's the Hiphopopotamus

The hip hop hippo"

Hodgins stepped up to the plate. They had to really convince these guys that they were crazy. "They call me the Hiphopopotamus

My lyrics are bottomless."

There was an awkward silence as Hodgins and Zach looked at each other; there was nothing good that could follow that statement. Zach's look told Hodgins to try again.

"They call me the Hiphopopotamus

Flows that glow like phosphorous

Poppin' off the top of this esophagus

Rockin' this metropolis

I'm not a large water-dwelling mammal

Where did you get that preposterous hypothesis?

Did Steve tell you that, perchance?

Steve."

Zach wanted to shake his head, Hodgins needed to get over his paranoia and delusions. Did they even know anyone named Steve?

"My rhymes and records they don't get played

Because my records and rhymes they don't get made

And if you rap like me you don't get paid

And if you roll like me you don't get laid."

Hodgins took over, "My rhymes are so potent that in this small segment

I made all of the ladies in the area pregnant

Yes, sometimes my lyrics are sexist

But you lovely bitches and hoes should know I'm trying to correct this."

Zach stepped in before Hodgins could get more awkward. "Other rappers dis me

Say my rhymes are sissy."

They looked at each other.

"Why?"

"Why?"

"Why?"

"What? Why exactly?"

"What? Why?"

"Be more constructive with your feedback, please. Why?" Hodgins spared Zach a side glance. Be more constructive with your feedback? He shook his head, he is Zach.

"Why?"

"Why, because I rap about reality?

Like me and my grandma drinking a cup of tea?

There ain't no party like my nanna's tea party.

Hey! Ho!"

Zach loves his nanna.

"I'm the motherflippin'"

"I'm the motherflippin'"

"I'm the motherflippin'"

"Who's the motherflippin?"

"I'm the motherflippin'"

"I'm the motherflippin'"

"I'm the motherflippin'"

"Motherflippin'"

The two thugs stared at each other and then back at the two weirdos.

"Dude, lets get out of here, these guys are freaking me out."

"Ya, not worth our time."

The two thugs left and Zach and Hodgins gave each other a high five. A voice cleared behind them, and they turned to see Booth, Brennan, and Angela.

"Rhymenocerous and Hiphopopotamus?" Angela didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

"Come on Rhymneocerous and Hiphopopotamus." Booth came up behind them and grabbed their shoulders steering them back towards the exit.

"Actually, I'm the Rhymneocerous, and Hodgins is the Hiphopopotamus."

"Shut up Zach." Hodgins was right it had worked. If only everyone else hadn't seen.


End file.
